Hurt

I smile when I stumble on things I wrote in the past… it reminds me of how much I’ve grown as a person…

Back in the day when I used to spill my every emotion into words *insert hysterical laughter here*

Here’s a post from my 2012 archives


Amidst tears… She holds my hands

I am quiet…unsure of what to say.

Innocently I ask, how do you feel?

She chokes on her tears…

I feel sorry for her and stupid at myself for asking such a question.

She looks at me ‘How do I feel?’ She asks

‘How do I feel’ she says?

I feel like my balloon of confidence just burst.

‘How can the one who makes you so happy, be the same one who makes you cry?’

You’re only allowed to do one – make me happy or make me sad.

‘You see’ she said. ‘Sometimes I cannot explain’

‘Perhaps it is because I have done to same to others before him. Maybe this is my reward.’

‘Fortunately or is it unfortunate, that I have chose to fall in love with him? Chosen him to be my one and only? That no matter what he does, or what he says, I’ll still stay?’

I look at her puzzled. I do not understand the gibberish she speaks. What is all this about the same person making you happy and making you sad? That is not what I thought ‘love’ would feel like…

You see unlike her, I have no experience.

She breaks into sobs

I roll my eyes while she’s not watching. I want to just leave her there to wallow in her tears.

‘He pokes at my confidence constantly’

I do not understand her you see, she is one of the strongest women I know

It is for reasons like this I chose not to love

I mean who could love me better than me?

I wasn’t devoid if emotion, I was just different

Seeing her cry made me want to yawn and sleep

‘You don’t get me, do you?’

I looked away

I did not want to get caught up in all her emotion

If he makes you feel so sad, why don’t you leave him?

The regret I felt after I asked that question

The unbearable look she gave me!

“How could you ask such of me” she wailed 

Love is all that matters.

** Photo credit – lylyansite

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Kewrites says:

    Love is all that matters! sometimes it’s great to look at the past in order to appreciate how we have grown!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. nvsubbaraman says:

    Very touchy and emotional.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very emotional Amina! 🙂 Amazing… ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amina says:

      Thanks as always Lauren x

      Like

  4. dornahainds says:

    Very captivating and emotionally expressed, then love is experienced in so many ways… Sorrow. Happiness. Joys. Loss. Finding oneself, strength, wisdom…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amina says:

      Thanks so much for your comment dornahainds

      Like

      1. dornahainds says:

        Amina, I am not certain if you are aware of the project Peace, but could you take some time in your day and take a read? Possibly submit a poem to the collaboration, also?

        We have 140 contributions to date, and I am trying again to rope in
        as many contributors to the Poets for Peace challenge (in place until this the end of August). The many voices in response to this have been fantastic, and I’d love you to add yours (again, if applicable) if you can. Feel free to use an existing piece of writing or a new one asking for peace and/or about the troubled times in which we live.

        If you are interested, please leave your poem in the comments section of Neha’s blog and it will be added.

        https://forgottenmeadows.wordpress.com/2016/07/16/calling-all-poetscreative-minds-to-a-grand-collaboration-poets-for-peace/comment-page-5/#comment-19287

        Thank you –
        Your voice matters.

        ‘We are so grateful to be part of this community where poets and
        creative minds from around the world stand together uniting for PEACE!

        This collaboration is open till August 31st and we hope to see more of
        you join in!’
        – Neha

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Amina says:

        Thank you. I’ll check this out x

        Like

  5. Marilyn Ward says:

    I like it

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Robert Andrews says:

    Severe pain. poetry man

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Brigitte Giunta says:

    well done

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mo'Niyi says:

    Brilliant…the expression seemed real…if not Real…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amina says:

      Most of what I write is directly connected to how I feel or how I’ve felt at certain times. Thank God for growth !

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mo'Niyi says:

        i can relate…

        Liked by 1 person

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