Is this it???

Am I the only one who feels like nothing has changed in 2017?? I know it’s only been three days but… where is my ‘new year, new me’ feeling??? In the past few months, I’ve felt like my mind and my body are two separate beings – working against each other.

Each one fighting for what it thinks is right – for me, for us!

I fear that this is it
My life full of random pulses
Each one unexpected
Each one different

Will my diamond only shine when it chooses?
Or will it stay unchanged? Unscathed?
Will the coal burn brightly
When I need it the most?

Will I just scale through
Like a zombie
In a unilateral path
Wandering endlessly

It’s never enough
It’ll never be enough
I need more
I want more

People talk about this thing
They call it contentment
But my desires push me
To be more than just ‘satisfied’

Year in, year out
I feel like I’m fighting a battle
Fighting myself
Within myself

Compartmentalising
Scheming
Finalising
Possibly growing…


Sometimes, I wish I could take a peek at what the future holds… but that in itself will alter everything.

I guess, I’ll just keep working hard while praying I finally find what it is I am looking for

** Photo credit – vectorstock

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Marilyn Ward says:

    A wonderful pondering on what may be

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amina says:

      Thank you Marilyn

      Like

  2. dornahainds says:

    A very powerful, persuasive interospection of oneself.

    Like

    1. Amina says:

      thanks Dornahainds, I appreciate your comment 🙂

      Like

  3. Lauren says:

    I’m so happy to see you back Amina!! I’ve honestly missed your poems so much. They really make me stop and think; they’re so beautifully written. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amina says:

      I’ve missed you too Lauren. I’m sorry I stopped. I promise I won’t leave again xxx. Hope you’re good

      Like

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