So…. turns out I’m back – after a three-month hiatus. I’m not exactly sure at what point I decided to throw away my creative pen but I sort of know why I decided to stop (for a while).

Most of my writing is directly connected to how I feel – maybe not at the point when I post it – but connected! At some point last year, I got overwhelmed with too many emotions – so many unanswered questions, goals yet to be achieved, to-do lists unchecked, time was running out. When it came down to me choosing, well this had to stop.

Looking back at all the things I really wanted to do last year (read here), I can honestly say I did better than I thought I would.

Did I grow in my artistic element??? I’ll let you guys be the judge of that.

Did I reclaim myself??? I’m still getting there – Being completely selfless is much harder than I thought. I guess I’m still learning that it’s ok to be selfish sometimes. Perhaps selfish is the wrong word… I’m just learning to find the balance between what is for me and what I can give.

“It is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others”

– Dalai Lama XIV

Did I stay happy?? I don’t think everyone can be happy all of the time – there were good days and there were bad days and there were outright terrible days but I didn’t let them get to me. Sometimes you just have to kick yourself in the butt and get back up. A friend of mine always says Weakness compels strength – this was basically my mantra every time I was down.

“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity”

– Barbara De Angelis

Was I a better friend?? You know… I did try. Reached out to some old friends, made new ones. Some of the people I reached out too didn’t respond the way I wanted – but I’m not even mad. Maybe it’s ‘cos deep down I know everyone is doing well or still growing or finding their way – or maybe the friendship has run its course. Whatever the case may be, I’ve decided not to choose the worst version of their story – whatever that maybe.

Anyway, it’s a new year. I guess this signifies a new start… or maybe it means continuing abandoned journeys…

I stay hopeful
Trying
Trying to explore unchartered waters
Will I use my little feet to test its depth?
Or will I jump in – dauntless???

I stay hopeful
Embracing
Embracing faith in all forms
Believing things will happen
Holding on to my conviction

I stay thankful
For things past
And those to come
Victories big and small

Here’s to 2017!