I’m experiencing all sorts of emotion today. I woke up crying – no, not sad tears. Tears of joy and my heart is bursting with so much pride – in myself, in my husband, in my child.

He’s one today!!!

I cannot for the life of me understand how time has gone by so quick. It feels like it was only yesterday I was 18kg heavier and a walking bag of hormones lol.

I am at that point where I’m constantly wanting Adnan (my son) to be my baby forever but also extremely excited about him growing up. It’s so weird because I remember the day I realised I was pregnant and it took about a week for me to be truly happy – I spent so much time panicking about what kind of mother I would be. Wondering if I was responsible enough to cater to another human being. Having anxiety about what life was going to be like as a mother. Eventually I realised I had life growing inside of me and there was nothing I could really do to prepare myself for what was to come – so I embraced the moment (hard as it was for me at the time)… 12 months later, I know I have done (and still doing) everything it takes to be the best mum I can be to you – and I’m loving every moment of it.

I know he’s still too young to read but I’m going to write him this letter anyway (from my husband and I)- and it’ll always be here for him to read. I hope this letter guides him through good and bad times, through his teenage years and adult life. I hope I am able to let him see through my words how much he means to me.

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“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms… let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”

― C. JoyBell C.

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Dear Adnan,

I remember the first time I held you, I could feel my heart filling up. I felt this rush of emotion that I didn’t know existed.I looked at you and slowly it dawned on me you were exactly what I prayed for and then some… gorgeous curly black hair, beautiful big eyes and an infectious smile 🙂

Its been 12 months and in that time, I’ve watched you grow. I’ve watched you achieve milestones. I’ve seen you learn how to do things – trying over and over without giving up. I’ve learnt to appreciate the world around me as I’ve gotten to see the world through your own eyes – it’s been mesmerizing.

The beautiful thing about this past 12 months is I’ve been able to grow with you too. You’ve taught me patience, taught me perseverance. You’ve shown me a whole new way to love – how to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return. My little miracle child. You have truly changed me in many good ways than one.

A part of me wants to stop time and cherish this moment forever but I know you must grow, you must experience life in all its goodness and fullness (and even experience the thorns).

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“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”

― C. JoyBell C.

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We (your dad and I) have a few things to say to you… The world is a big place and it’s very easy for you to get lost – remember we (you dad and I) will always be here for you. Never go through life thinking you are alone… you are never alone! Don’t ever think you cannot talk to us… you may not always make the right choices (that is life), but we will never judge you.

Choose happiness, stay happy, be happy… spread your happiness.

My dear child, be kind. Be kind to people, be kind to animals. No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted. People will remember you. Good things will come your way when you least expect. Pay it forward.

Live your life to the fullest… chase your dreams. Take risks. Travel. See the world. The world is always going to be bigger than what you know. Never ever limit yourself. Interact with people from a different backgrounds. You can do anything as long you set your mind to it.

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“The world is not a box. There’s no lid no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks. Everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of man”

– Dawud Wharnsby

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Read books – acquire knowledge, build your instincts. The more knowledgeable you are, the more ‘lucky’ you become. Be the one who provides solutions and not cause the problem. Be confident not arrogant.

Respect women, it will not make you less of a man. The world is full of people who take pleasure in making women feel inferior – do not be one of them.

Love yourself. You are unique. There is no one like you. You are your own person. How you see yourself is how others will see you. Be confident. The world is full of brilliant unsuccessful people but you wont find resilient people who are unsuccessful – Strive to be extra ordinary.

Make (good) friends. Build bridges. Good friends will become your family. Good friends will make gloomy days bright. Make sure you create memories you can look back on that will make you smile.

All in all, Believe in God… keep your faith strong. Pray. Read your Qur’an. Be steadfast in all your ways. As you walk your path in life, challenges will come your way – trust in God and all will be well insha Allah.

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“If Allah should aid you, no one can overcome you; but if He should forsake you, who is there that can aid you after Him? Upon Allah let believers rely”

– Quran 3:160

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Know that I love you and Dada loves you.

Happy 1st birthday Adnan.

Love,

Mama and Dada.

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*Photo credit – Google Images